Don’t Be the “Waiter”

The only thing that comes to a waiter is a tip.

The motivational speaker/guru, Les Brown, once said: “good things come to those who wait, but only the good things that were left behind by the one who hustled.”

We often move through life feeling as if tomorrow will bring us that extra ounce of motivation that we need to move toward our dreams. Most of us feel as if tomorrow has a surplus of energy injected into it, an energy that today we would never dare tap into.

The good news is today has just as much motivation in it as tomorrow does. The bad news is tomorrow has just much motivation as today.

Wishful thinking and aimlessly waiting on tomorrow, “a better day,” to begin that project or start that business will have you in a place Zig Ziglar once called “One Day Isle” which is right next to “Isle Never” in Safeway: as in the safe way to nowhere.

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In a nutshell, living for tomorrow is the most dangerous thing that you could ever do for your future self. In waiting for tomorrow to begin, you are literally preparing yourself for a time and place that does not exist. As pseudoscience or woowoo as this sounds, you truly only have this moment. Right here, right now is the only thing that actually exists. All ‘tomorrow’ is is a representation of another “right here, right now.”

Thus, if you wish to see any sort of lasting change in your life, do “it” now, whatever your “it” is. I wasted far too much time and too many “laters” to ever let myself into such a trap again and it truly hurts my heart when I see those around me doing the same. We act as if our time is limitless, as if we will always be able to achieve our greatest self. We will forgo going to the gym for the third night in a row because Shameless just put out their third season and I means it’s not like the gyms going anywhere right? We throw away precious moments in the morning that could be used for mediation or planning and instead dedicate that time to scrolling and liking.

We love to claim that patience is a virtue but what we practice is far from virtuous. The fact of the matter is patience and waiting are not related, in fact they are not even in the same species. Patience is related to the work that takes place during the period of growth, while waiting is a passive act of “do nothingness.”

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I am by no means saying there is something wrong with relaxation and unwinding to something that will take your mind off of constantly doing, however when it’s time to do, don’t mistake not doing for doing. 

Preparation is a key element to success in any sphere of life but waiting and preparing are again unrelated. There is a difference between studying an industry before you enter it and waiting for the “right time” to get into an industry. Preparing for a test and thinking about preparing for a test are not the same thing, I could not emphasize this point enough. 

Do not take for granted the time that you have been allocated and the visions that have been placed in you. When you are sparked with an idea, you must act on it as fast as possible because the longer you wait the further it fades.

Tinashe Hwande

(edited by Tayla Hasselbach)

What Is Leadership?

Leadership is inspiring. It is taking a stand and motivating others to think, create, accomplish — whatever the task may be. It is creating an open space where effective communication and compromise may occur in order to confidently reach a goal in a timely manner. It is taking on the responsibility of the outcomes of those decisions and facilitating reflection on what could be done better in the future. It is doing all of these things from a pure heart with the sole intention of helping others be the best person they can be in the world.

While pondering who has demonstrated leadership in my life, my sophomore 2 clinical instructor, Amber Quelvog, came to mind. She was one of the best teachers I have ever had and it is through her leadership that I grew exponentially as a nurse this past semester. She was a leader in that she inspired us to be our own leaders, to trust ourselves, and to feel confident and in the right place on the floor in the hospital. She led not by telling us what to do but by guiding us as we used our critical thinking skills to solve the issue at hand on our own. She facilitated our self-reflection as well as gave constructive criticism in a positive manner. I truly look up to her and hope to be a nurse, teacher, and leader like her.

Nursing School Archives (May 2015)

By: Tayla Hasselbach

Seek to “INNERstand”

To understand your audience is one thing; but to truly reach into the deepest parts of another individual, to fully comprehend their drives, inhibitions, desires, and motives; this is to INNERstand them. Whether you are an individual with a burning message to share with the world or an organization with a life-changing product to provide to those in need; both cases require a certain level of innerstanding. Much like within interpersonal relationships, understanding the point of view the other is crucial. The best relationships do not form due to similar tastes in movies or music, but by allocating quality time with pure intention to fully grasp where exactly the other person is coming from.

In this new economy, it is essential to treat your relationship with your customers, as you would treat a friendship. For instance, if you had some news that you wanted to share with a friend, would you deliver it to them in a compelling story that is relevant to their own life experience or just give them a generic statement that you kinda, sort, think makes sense? For far too long, advertisers have been talking at their audience instead of speaking with them; and by speaking with them I do not mean some focus group that is being paid to taste your new Acai recipe. I mean a true conversation; a back and forth dialogue that is deeper than “which one tastes better”. Social Media has made it possible for individuals and companies alike to maintain a streamline of communication. There are no longer any excuses for not getting to know the true beneficiaries of your brand. This sort of symbiotic relationship creates a win-win situation; both parties receive exactly what they want while reciprocating the value.

Take the extra time to know your customer. Ask them questions. Know why they buy from you and not the place next door. Ask them why their kids love the place. This may seem self-serving, but for those with a true sense of care for their community, this conversation allows for a greater customer experience and in return you will have a larger community to serve as they spread the word about the wonderful good or service that you so wholeheartedly provide.

-Tinashe Hwande

(edited by Tayla M. Hasselbach)

Keys to the Heart

What is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word “communication”? A 12th grader nervously standing in front of her peers, giving a speech on a subject she just read up on last night? Or maybe you envision a college student typing up a persuasive essay the night before class at a pace fast enough to tear the keyboard in half.

School taught us how to talk and be persuasive both orally and textually, but often neglected the most important part of communication: Listening.

Since I was a youngin’, I’ve heard the phrase “communication is key” thrown around. This cliche made sense in my young mind; if you want to get your point across, you have to speak up. I was never shy of such an act. What took me two decades to learn, however, was the pivotal part of communication.

It was Stephen Covey’s book “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” that opened up an entirely new world for me. He spoke of the importance of listening not for response, but for understanding. Right after I read this, I had an experience which solidified this notion. I felt as if I had been freed from a self-induced, ego-controlled cage and opened up to an entirely new paradigm. Until that day, I was a product of my conditioning, a conditioning that said “communication is key and getting your point across is communication… therefore, DON’T STOP TALKING.” That very day, I found the true key, the essence of communication; listening.

It wasn’t long until I fell back into my default habits of listening to reply. What changed, however, was my new found conscious intention to seek understanding within each conversation. From that point forward, I was able to diligently practice listening to others in order to truly hear what they were saying. The hardest form of this was when disagreements arose. Listening to understand literally meant that I had to sit there and take the verbal abuse of another as they uttered all the things that I had “done to them.” When an argument flared up, something very interesting happened. Instead of being defensive and striking back, I began to see where the other persons pain points were. There were no personal attacks or threats actually made towards me but more so cries for help that had taken the form of angry words.

It was not during a normal conversation that I saw how true communication was key but during a disagreement with a very close family member. As she began to project her fears, insecurities and pain onto me, I sat there and listened instead of responding with even more angst. That day, I learned more about her than I had in my entire life. I was so moved by the experience that I was brought to tears of joy; even though she might not have realized it, we experienced a breakthrough.

“Communication is key” is not some cute Pinterest quote or overused cliche, but a deep truth that we often times overlook. Think about it, what exactly is a keys purpose? And knowing the purpose of a key, why would communication be the key?

In my eyes, communication is a key to the heart. When we can listen to another with the intention to understand, we open ourselves to the possibility of seeing what is truly in their heart. With that very same key, we can open up the doors to our own hearts as well the hearts of others.

Tinashe Hwande

(edited by Tayla M. Hasselbach)