“If there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do us no harm” -Sun Tzu
Enemies. In some Hollywood narratives, you see the depiction of enemies as evil, malicious beings that reign terror on the hero or heroine. In life, we sometimes make enemies; sure, they may not be after our lives, but they sure as hell are after our highs (happiness).
Time and time again, I have recognized the most ruthless force I’ve ever had to face was me, or at least the illusion of me.
After promising my parents I would never take a drug or drink alcohol during the first week of high school and fully believing it, it felt like something outside of myself lead me into the five year abyss of my teenage life
As much as I would love to blame peer pressure or my environment for my formative lifestyle, the truth is I was the only one who chose to take, sell, and entertain those drugs. There was no magical entity that was making me act against my own well-being, in fact I don’t remember a single person putting a blunt to my lips and forcing me to inhale; all 10,000 hits were my choice and my choice alone.
Coming to the realization that I was my own worst enemy had a surprising effect. Instead of loathing in self-pity, I realized that if I could be my own enemy then I could surely become my own best friend.
If I could destroy myself, then I could heal myself. If I could deceive myself, then I could find my way back to truth. There was nothing stopping me from living a clean and sober life besides me.
In the process of becoming my own best friend, a process that never ends, I realized that a true friend is not one who always agrees with you and cheers you on as you destroy yourself. A true friend is one who will have the tough conversations and question your lifestyle in order to help you better yourself.
Edited by. Tayla Hasselbach